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FUNNY RIDDLES

175 Funny Riddles With Answers

A mix of groan-worthy jokes, silly wordplay, kid-friendly riddles, adult humour and quick one-liners designed to be repeated.

Every answer is hidden by default. Open each one when you are ready for the punch line.

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40 RIDDLES

Funny Riddles With Answers

The ones that get repeated. Half riddle, half joke, entirely designed to make somebody groan.

Try the riddle first, then tap “Show Answer” for the punch line.

RIDDLE 1

What do you call a cow with no legs?

RIDDLE 2

What do you call a cow during an earthquake?

RIDDLE 3

Why do cows wear bells?

RIDDLE 4

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

RIDDLE 5

What do you call an alligator in a waistcoat?

RIDDLE 6

What do you call a dog who does magic?

RIDDLE 7

Why don't elephants use computers?

RIDDLE 8

What do you call a fish in a bow tie?

RIDDLE 9

Why are seagulls always over the sea?

RIDDLE 10

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

RIDDLE 11

What do you call a bear caught in a light shower?

RIDDLE 12

What do you call a snake who works for the government?

RIDDLE 13

Why don't oysters ever share?

RIDDLE 14

What do you call a group of whales in a band?

RIDDLE 15

Why did the octopus win the fight?

RIDDLE 16

Why don't ants ever get ill?

RIDDLE 17

What do you call a bee that cannot make up its mind?

RIDDLE 18

What do you call a sleeping bull?

RIDDLE 19

What do you call an owl who does magic tricks?

RIDDLE 20

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

RIDDLE 21

And what do you call that same deer with no eyes and no legs?

RIDDLE 22

Why don't cats play cards in the jungle?

RIDDLE 23

What do you call a dinosaur who keeps crashing his car?

RIDDLE 24

What do you call a horse with a sore throat?

RIDDLE 25

Why do giraffes have such long necks?

RIDDLE 26

What do you call a very small horse who cannot speak up?

RIDDLE 27

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?

RIDDLE 28

What do you call a nervous chilli?

RIDDLE 29

Why did the lettuce win the race?

RIDDLE 30

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

RIDDLE 31

Why did the coffee call the police?

RIDDLE 32

Why was the loaf of bread so pleased with itself?

RIDDLE 33

Why was the mushroom invited to every party?

RIDDLE 34

What do you call a fake strand of spaghetti?

RIDDLE 35

What do you call a potato watching the football?

RIDDLE 36

Why don't melons ever run away and get married?

RIDDLE 37

What do you call two banana skins on the floor?

RIDDLE 38

Why was the cucumber so annoyed?

RIDDLE 39

Why did the doughnut go to the dentist?

RIDDLE 40

What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?

35 RIDDLES

Funny Riddles for Kids

Silly rather than clever. Children find deliberate nonsense far funnier than wordplay they have to work for.

Try the riddle first, then tap “Show Answer” for the punch line.

RIDDLE 41

Why did the frog have such a good day?

RIDDLE 42

What do you call a pig who does karate at the beach?

RIDDLE 43

Why can't pigs ever use the telephone?

RIDDLE 44

What do you call a duck who sings beautifully?

RIDDLE 45

Why don't penguins ever fly anywhere?

RIDDLE 46

What do you call a cat who goes bowling?

RIDDLE 47

Why do bears wear fur coats?

RIDDLE 48

What do you call a monkey who drops something heavy?

RIDDLE 49

Why did the spider buy a laptop?

RIDDLE 50

Why did the egg hide behind the toaster?

RIDDLE 51

What do you call an egg that tells jokes?

RIDDLE 52

Why did the banana put on sun cream?

RIDDLE 53

Why did the biscuit start crying?

RIDDLE 54

Why did the student eat his homework?

RIDDLE 55

Why was the equals sign so modest?

RIDDLE 56

Why did the triangle go to the beach?

RIDDLE 57

What do you call a very small angle?

RIDDLE 58

Why did the calendar need a lie down?

RIDDLE 59

Why did the clock get sent out of class?

RIDDLE 60

Why did the bicycle fall over on its own?

RIDDLE 61

Why can a nose never be twelve inches long?

RIDDLE 62

Why did the belt get taken away by the police?

RIDDLE 63

Why was the lightbulb so bad at its job?

RIDDLE 64

Why don't skeletons ever start a fight?

RIDDLE 65

What do you call a skeleton who refuses to do any work?

RIDDLE 66

Why don't mummies ever take a holiday?

RIDDLE 67

Why did the vampire buy a newspaper?

RIDDLE 68

Why did the piano get locked out of its own house?

RIDDLE 69

Why did the drummer get the job straight away?

RIDDLE 70

Why did the tree go to the barber?

RIDDLE 71

Why do trees hate exams?

RIDDLE 72

What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?

RIDDLE 73

Why was the computer shivering?

RIDDLE 74

Why did the phone need glasses?

RIDDLE 75

Why did the robot go on holiday?

35 RIDDLES

Funny Riddles for Adults

Workplace humour, bad puns with a longer setup, and the kind of joke that only lands once you have paid a mortgage.

Try the riddle first, then tap “Show Answer” for the punch line.

RIDDLE 76

Why did the banker leave the profession?

RIDDLE 77

Why did the archaeologist go bankrupt?

RIDDLE 78

Why did the electrician get promoted so quickly?

RIDDLE 79

Why did the plumber hand in his notice?

RIDDLE 80

Why did the tailor finally quit?

RIDDLE 81

Why did the baker stay behind every night?

RIDDLE 82

Why did the butcher get the promotion?

RIDDLE 83

Why did the librarian get escorted out of the building?

RIDDLE 84

Why did the chef get shown the door?

RIDDLE 85

Why did the gardener lose the argument?

RIDDLE 86

Why did the barber win the race across town?

RIDDLE 87

Why did the astronaut end the relationship?

RIDDLE 88

Why don't programmers enjoy going outdoors?

RIDDLE 89

Why did the accountant fall asleep at his desk?

RIDDLE 90

Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court?

RIDDLE 91

Why did the estate agent describe the wardrobe as a bedroom?

RIDDLE 92

Why did the dentist become a stand up comedian?

RIDDLE 93

Why is a meeting like a very slow train?

RIDDLE 94

What do you call a status update that could have been an email?

RIDDLE 95

Why did the office plant survive so long?

RIDDLE 96

Why did the printer get an office of its own?

RIDDLE 97

What is the difference between a deadline and a suggestion?

RIDDLE 98

Why did the consultant borrow your watch?

RIDDLE 99

What do you call a plan that survives contact with the first meeting?

RIDDLE 100

Why did the marathon runner take up baking?

RIDDLE 101

Why did the wine go to therapy?

RIDDLE 102

Why did the whisky refuse to speak?

RIDDLE 103

Why was the barbecue such a disaster?

RIDDLE 104

Why did the man take a ladder to the bar?

RIDDLE 105

Why is a shopping trolley like a good intention?

RIDDLE 106

Why did the man put his watch in the blender?

RIDDLE 107

Why did the alarm clock get thrown across the room?

RIDDLE 108

Why did the man study on the aeroplane?

RIDDLE 109

Why did the gym membership last so long?

RIDDLE 110

Why did the man name his dog Five Miles?

30 RIDDLES

Funny What Am I Riddles

The self describing format, played entirely for laughs.

Try the riddle first, then tap “Show Answer” for the punch line.

RIDDLE 111

I am taken to a party, I make everyone louder, and I get the blame the next morning.

RIDDLE 112

I am the only guest who arrives on time, eats nothing, and leaves with a full plate.

RIDDLE 113

I sit in the fridge for nine days while everybody agrees somebody should eat me.

RIDDLE 114

I am handed to the person who cooked and I am immediately handed straight back.

RIDDLE 115

I am the only thing in the house that everybody can find except the person looking for me.

RIDDLE 116

I am the reason you walked into this room and I refuse to be remembered.

RIDDLE 117

I am opened forty times a day and I contain the same nothing every time.

RIDDLE 118

I am the drawer nobody has ever fully understood.

RIDDLE 119

I am worn once, washed, and returned to the exact spot on the chair.

RIDDLE 120

I am the sound that makes everyone in the house pretend to be asleep.

RIDDLE 121

I am a plant you were given, I am watered generously for a week, and I am watered again at Christmas.

RIDDLE 122

I have your name on me, I am in the freezer, and nobody knows what I am any more.

RIDDLE 123

I am cheap, I am nine years old, and replacing me feels like admitting something.

RIDDLE 124

I am read once, kept for eleven years, and thrown out unread.

RIDDLE 125

I am the only cable in the box that is definitely for something.

RIDDLE 126

I take one minute to make and forty minutes to decide to make.

RIDDLE 127

I am the last thing you check before bed and the first thing you check on waking, and I have never once had good news.

RIDDLE 128

I am five more minutes, seven times in a row.

RIDDLE 129

I am worn to bed, worn to breakfast, and defended fiercely.

RIDDLE 130

I am the only item of clothing that fits perfectly and is never available again.

RIDDLE 131

I am folded, put away, and taken out still folded eight months later.

RIDDLE 132

I go on the pile of things that are going to the charity shop, and I have lived on that pile since spring.

RIDDLE 133

I am asked at the end of every meal and answered before I am finished being asked.

RIDDLE 134

I am somebody else's food and I taste better than mine, always.

RIDDLE 135

I am the only queue you join because the other one was moving faster.

RIDDLE 136

I am the parking space that appears the moment you park somewhere worse.

RIDDLE 137

I am the item you cannot find in a shop until you buy it elsewhere.

RIDDLE 138

I never rain on the day you carry me and I always rain on the day you leave me at home.

RIDDLE 139

I am the joke you laughed at hardest and cannot repeat correctly.

RIDDLE 140

I am a riddle whose answer everybody already knew, and you are the only person who did not.

35 RIDDLES

Silly Riddles and One Liners

Short, daft and instantly repeatable. These are the ones children take to school the next morning.

Try the riddle first, then tap “Show Answer” for the punch line.

RIDDLE 141

What do you call cheese that has been to the gym?

RIDDLE 142

What do you call a snowman's breakfast?

RIDDLE 143

What do you call a pile of cats?

RIDDLE 144

What do you call a fish who plays the trumpet?

RIDDLE 145

What do you call a factory that makes acceptable products?

RIDDLE 146

What do you call a magician who has lost his magic?

RIDDLE 147

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

RIDDLE 148

And what do you call him after the spade is removed?

RIDDLE 149

What do you call a man floating in the sea?

RIDDLE 150

What do you call a woman with a tortoise on her head?

RIDDLE 151

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

RIDDLE 152

Why did the picture frame go to the doctor?

RIDDLE 153

Why did the sock go to the police?

RIDDLE 154

Why did the wardrobe get an award?

RIDDLE 155

Why did the door get promoted?

RIDDLE 156

Why did the mirror get invited everywhere?

RIDDLE 157

Why did the ladder get a warning?

RIDDLE 158

Why did the sofa refuse to move?

RIDDLE 159

Why did the kettle stop shouting?

RIDDLE 160

Why did the fridge start humming?

RIDDLE 161

Why did the toaster get thrown out?

RIDDLE 162

Why did the vacuum get a bad review?

RIDDLE 163

Why did the pillow lose the argument?

RIDDLE 164

Why did the blanket get invited back?

RIDDLE 165

Why did the candle become a manager?

RIDDLE 166

Why did the map get lost?

RIDDLE 167

Why did the calendar and the clock fall out?

RIDDLE 168

Why did the pencil win the debate?

RIDDLE 169

Why did the eraser get the last word?

RIDDLE 170

Why did the stapler get a nickname?

RIDDLE 171

Why did the glue stay quiet in meetings?

RIDDLE 172

Why did the ruler get respect?

RIDDLE 173

Why did the paper lose to the rock?

RIDDLE 174

Why did the light switch get tired?

RIDDLE 175

Why did the riddle stop halfway through?

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