A mix of groan-worthy jokes, silly wordplay, kid-friendly riddles, adult humour and quick one-liners designed to be repeated.
Every answer is hidden by default. Open each one when you are ready for the punch line.
175 funny riddles across five collections.
The ones that get repeated. Half riddle, half joke, entirely designed to make somebody groan.
Try the riddle first, then tap “Show Answer” for the punch line.
Answer: Ground beef.
Answer: A milkshake.
Answer: Because their horns do not work.
Answer: A cloud.
Answer: An investigator.
Answer: A labracadabrador.
Answer: They are frightened of the mouse.
Answer: Sofishticated.
Answer: If they flew over the bay they would be bagels.
Answer: A pouch potato.
Answer: A drizzly bear.
Answer: A civil serpent.
Answer: They are shellfish.
Answer: An orca stra.
Answer: It was very well armed.
Answer: They are full of little antibodies.
Answer: A maybe.
Answer: A bulldozer.
Answer: Hoodini.
Answer: No idea.
Answer: Still no idea.
Answer: There are too many cheetahs.
Answer: Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Answer: A little hoarse.
Answer: Their feet smell.
Answer: A little hoarse whisperer.
Answer: It ran out of juice.
Answer: A little jumpy jalapeño.
Answer: It was a head.
Answer: A depresso.
Answer: It got mugged.
Answer: It was on a roll.
Answer: He was a fun guy.
Answer: An impasta.
Answer: A spec tater.
Answer: They cantaloupe.
Answer: A pair of slippers.
Answer: It was in a pickle.
Answer: It needed a filling.
Answer: A stick.
Silly rather than clever. Children find deliberate nonsense far funnier than wordplay they have to work for.
Answer: He ate whatever was bugging him.
Answer: A sandy chop.
Answer: They keep hanging up.
Answer: A quack a pella singer.
Answer: They cannot afford the tickets.
Answer: An alley cat.
Answer: They would look ridiculous in anoraks.
Answer: A baboom.
Answer: It wanted its own website.
Answer: It was a little chicken.
Answer: A yolker.
Answer: It was starting to peel.
Answer: Its mother had been a wafer so long.
Answer: The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
Answer: It knew it was not greater than or less than anybody.
Answer: It was well over ninety degrees.
Answer: A cute one.
Answer: Its days were numbered.
Answer: It tocked too much.
Answer: It was two tired.
Answer: Then it would be a foot.
Answer: It was holding up a pair of trousers.
Answer: It was not very bright.
Answer: They do not have the guts.
Answer: Lazy bones.
Answer: They are afraid they might unwind.
Answer: He heard it had excellent circulation.
Answer: Its keys were on the inside.
Answer: He had brilliant timing.
Answer: It needed a trim.
Answer: They always get stumped.
Answer: A power plant.
Answer: It had left its windows open.
Answer: It had lost all its contacts.
Answer: It needed to recharge.
Workplace humour, bad puns with a longer setup, and the kind of joke that only lands once you have paid a mortgage.
Answer: He lost interest.
Answer: His whole career was in ruins.
Answer: He was extremely well grounded.
Answer: He was completely drained.
Answer: He was coming apart at the seams.
Answer: He kneaded the dough.
Answer: He was a cut above everyone else.
Answer: She was completely overbooked.
Answer: He would not stop stirring things up.
Answer: Everyone else was weeding him out.
Answer: He knew a short cut.
Answer: He said he needed space.
Answer: There are far too many bugs.
Answer: He was working out his own balance.
Answer: He wanted to take the case to a higher level.
Answer: Because that is the job.
Answer: He already had everybody wincing.
Answer: Everyone knows where it is going and nobody can get off.
Answer: A meeting.
Answer: Nobody could agree whose job it was to move it.
Answer: Nobody wanted to sit near it when it jams.
Answer: About two weeks, in practice.
Answer: To tell you the time and then invoice for it.
Answer: A rumour.
Answer: He wanted a different kind of roll.
Answer: It had a lot of bottled up feelings.
Answer: It was in a bit of a spirit.
Answer: Everybody had a different theory about the coals and nobody had a lighter.
Answer: He heard the drinks were on the house.
Answer: They both veer sharply left when you are trying to go straight.
Answer: He wanted to make time fly.
Answer: It was only doing what it was told.
Answer: He wanted a higher education.
Answer: Because he never once went in to cancel it.
Answer: So he could tell people he walks five miles every morning.
The self describing format, played entirely for laughs.
Answer: A bottle of wine.
Answer: A photograph of the buffet.
Answer: The last slice of birthday cake.
Answer: The washing up.
Answer: The thing in your other hand.
Answer: The reason you walked into the room.
Answer: The fridge.
Answer: The one with the batteries, the takeaway menus and one key.
Answer: The chair jumper.
Answer: The doorbell at nine in the evening.
Answer: A houseplant.
Answer: An unlabelled container.
Answer: A very old tea towel.
Answer: An instruction manual.
Answer: A cable for something.
Answer: A cup of tea.
Answer: Your phone.
Answer: The snooze button.
Answer: An extremely old dressing gown.
Answer: A discontinued pair of shoes.
Answer: The good tablecloth.
Answer: A coat.
Answer: Do you want dessert.
Answer: What they ordered.
Answer: The slower queue.
Answer: The good space.
Answer: The thing you needed.
Answer: An umbrella left behind.
Answer: The one you had to be there for.
Answer: The easy one.
Short, daft and instantly repeatable. These are the ones children take to school the next morning.
Answer: Shredded cheese.
Answer: Snowflakes.
Answer: A meowntain.
Answer: A tuna.
Answer: A satisfactory.
Answer: Ian.
Answer: Doug.
Answer: Douglas.
Answer: Bob.
Answer: Shelley.
Answer: Jack.
Answer: It was feeling a bit hung over.
Answer: It had been separated from its partner.
Answer: It had an outstanding closet record.
Answer: It always knew when to open up.
Answer: It reflected well on everyone.
Answer: It was always going up in the world.
Answer: It was too settled.
Answer: It finally let off some steam.
Answer: It did not know the words.
Answer: It kept popping off at people.
Answer: It really sucked.
Answer: It was too soft.
Answer: It was very warm company.
Answer: It was good at burning through work.
Answer: It could not follow itself.
Answer: They could never agree on the time.
Answer: It made several sharp points.
Answer: It removed all the others.
Answer: It always held things together.
Answer: It did not want to stick its neck out.
Answer: Everyone measured up to it.
Answer: It did not, and this has been settled for years.
Answer: It had been flicked back and forth all day.
Answer: It could not think of a punch line, which is the punch line.
Try the daily riddle or move over to the Best Riddles collection.